Title: And Then She Punched Me

Happy New Year!!!

This is a true story.

Hello from Mackenzie, BC!!!  I hope your New Year's was as exciting as mine.....

It was a little before 10 when we arrived at "Quigleys".  Quigleys is one of the two local bars in town.   I've seen a lot of bars in my time and, like most, this one can be a great time when there's a crowd.  I was partying and happy, one of my better nights.

The first three pool opponents I faced I lost.

The fourth game was a title match, for us anyway.  My opponent was an amazing pool player. I once said to her that she would win 6 games of every 10 we played. She smiled and retorted "No, I'd win 7!".  We had agreed, before this important game, our records were about equal and the winner of this game would be the Champ for 1999.  She hates "losing to me" almost as much as I hate "losing to her".  Actually, they are very friendly and fun games.  On her third shot, she inadvertently sunk the eight. Yes!!!!  A victory, somewhat cheap? Indeed! ...but a victory nonetheless.  No, she did not punch me. She comforted me later.

It was now 11:30 or so. I had been talking to people randomly and was actually having a good time. I looked across the median. There was a 6 foot blonde directly across from me. I motioned for a dance with my hands.  She started to move.  I was a little unsure of what she was doing.  She was walking around the median, but away from the dance floor. Moments later she arrived.  She was drop dead gorgeous.  I was in love and almost spilled my drink.  We walked to the dance floor and after idle chatter I guess I said:

"I'm having a great time here tonight!!!  I'm talking to strangers.... ya know, it's like this - for every 10 people I talk to, 5 will not even talk back to me, 4 will be friendly and fun, and ONE will be special.... I don't think you have a chance to be the special ONE?"  (or something to that effect, best recollection)

I still think that's pretty funny, provided she heard the "?" at the end.  C'mon,  I (37 year old fat man) am telling her (6 foot  drop dead gorgeous blonde) that she might not be the ONE?  Instead of a "?", she heard a "###&&&#!!***#####".   There was rage in those eyes.  My sense of humour gets me in trouble in rare circumstances.  These were the exact conditions for the rare circumstances and probably the lotto 649 of rare bad circumstances. She walked off the dance floor and she went back to her side of the median and I went back to my side of the median.  I tried to apologize with "I'm sorry...."  She had nothing to do with it.  She kept her back to me and gave me the finger with both hands.  I walked away, determined to avoid this woman at all costs for the rest of the evening.  I was having too good a time to have one bad interaction ruin the rest of my night.

I continued on talking randomly to people, enjoying the same success as before, but I did leave that area of the bar.  That area of the bar, however, is a great place to hang out and I did eventually return some time later, probably 1/2 an hour.

As I was approaching that area I saw she was walking off the dance floor into that area.  I took a quick left to avoid her.  Our eyes met just as I looked away.  I waited long enough for her to pass, all the time looking 180 degrees away from her.  I was practicing avoidance at its best.  I turned around to the dance floor again.  She was gone. Great!!  All of a sudden she was standing right in front of me. I tried more words of apology but  before I knew it she punched me right in the nose.  "Shit, she punched me!!!, really!"  It was a bit of a scene.  I'm sure a lot of people saw it, but I was damn sure I had the crowd's sympathies.  I was just standing there and she came up and punched me out of the blue.  I checked my nose for bleeding.  It was certainly a hard enough punch to cause a nosebleed.  I stepped backwards and checked my nose again, but I was in luck, no blood.   She walked away.  I looked up.  About 15 feet away, there was a gorilla. He wanted a piece of me and was being restrained by another gorilla, somewhat more sensible (know  who your friends are in these situations).  Friends of the six foot blonde were pointing fists at me. I was mad but I hate fights.  I'm a coward and proud to be one.  I like my teeth where they are. As loaded as I was, its amazing how clear your brain is when you might have to undergo massive pain if poor decisions are made. My first thoughts were whimpout, coward, and yellow.  I went with my first thought and sat down at the table nearest me with a couple who had seen the altercation.  I figured sitting down looked far less aggressive than standing.  I hand motioned that I was being calm and quiet.  If someone was going to hit me, looking as innocent as I possibly could, he'd lose massive fan support.   I started talking with the couple at the table.  She got up and got the news from the friends of the six foot blonde.  The word was "I called her a bimbo".  Bullshit!!! Six foot drop dead gorgeous blonde has just turned into bitch woman from hell and she wanted somebody to kick the shit out of me.  Now, there's another thing I've learned.  Six foot drop dead gorgeous blondes can have pretty well anything they want, including a good old fashioned shit kickin'.  They can pretty much just order one up.

I held the line and continued my strategy of whimping out.  Minutes later, everything settled down.... okay, time to get the hell out of here... I got out of my chair (slowly) and headed for the pool tables.  I knew the company had to be better there. There she was, my opponent.   I replayed her my punch in the face ordeal.   I was vulnerable. This was her chance to take the high road.  Did she take it? ....she could replay the embarrassment she felt when I had won the 1999 Championship, pause,  light a cigarette, walk a few steps away, turn back, butt the cigarette... and mutter "It's a tough town, Kingston...Get out o' town" OR she could show genuine concern.  I'm glad to report she took the high road and comforted me, about 3 seconds worth. Further, I detected no hesitation on her part, genuine enough for me!!

For the rest of the night, nobody tried to hit me and, of course, I continued on with my random conversations.

Happy New Year to all,

Tom Kingston